Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
