I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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