if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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