Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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