I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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