we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
