i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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