i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
