just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
