Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
