Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
