Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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