OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
