I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
