i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
