So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
