You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
