Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
