Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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