New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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