I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
