It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Ketchup is God's man juice
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
