My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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