great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
