If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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