I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
