Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
