out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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