you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
