Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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