why didn't you poke me back
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
