So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
