So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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