we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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