brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
