Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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