There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
