I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
