I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
accomplished twins. life is a go
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
