ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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