Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
