He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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