went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
