I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So apparently I’m into choking now
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
