god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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