it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
