you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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