somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
