How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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