She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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